What Makes a Spa Massage Good?

At spas around the world, the only massage you can find is either skin deep or too deep. A Goldilocks just-right intensity is the Holy Grail of massage. What makes a good massage good? What's the right pressure for a massage and how can you find it?
Be aware that training standards for massage therapists vary from excellent to literally none at all. Thai massage may be famous, but a lot of so-called Thai massage is just poor quality Swedish massage done by Thai people. Visit Vancouver and you'll find spas that hire only the best: medical massage therapists with 2000+ hours of training. But hop across the border to Seattle, and you'll get therapists who had to complete no more than 500 hours of training to get their licenses and that's still more training than a lot of places.

The Many Different Types of Massage & What They Really Mean

Thai massage, by the way, is just Swedish integrated with quite a bit of stretching, like having yoga done to you, instead of doing yoga. And Swedish massage refers to all the stereotypical massage moves, like lubed strokes with the palms (effleurage), karate chopping the back (tapotement), and kneading with the fingertips (petrissage). They are called Swedish because it was a Swede gave names to all these tricks of the trade. Nearly any kind of massage can be described with the Swedish jargon.
Sports massage is not really sports massage without an athlete. Sports massage is just a matter of selecting techniques that make sense for an athlete. If you're not an athlete and someone offers you sports massage, it probably just means faster, deeper, with a bit of emphasis on treating injuries.
Names like myofascial massage or neuromuscular massage are just fancy-sounding, Latinized descriptions of massage itself. They are almost redundant, and mean pretty much whatever a therapist wants.
Rolfing aims to straighten you out, typically with slow, strong pressing and stretching. Although kinder and gentler than it used to be, spas offer it because it's probably the best-known type of deep tissue massage.
A few more: Lomilomi, or Hawaiian massage, has grown in popularity in recent years and it's as variable as Swedish; Shiatsu or acupressure is massage of acupuncture points, often quite strong; reflexology is foot, hand and ear massage based on alleged reflexes affecting the whole body; hot stone massage is a staple in spas these days, a wonderful experience when artfully performed, and might be the most likely way to get a mostly relaxing massage that also has a bit of strength.
Medical massage is massage with a therapeutic or rehabilitative focus, and generally only advertised by therapists with the best possible training. Spas don't advertise medical massage because it doesn't sound very pleasant, but they do hire them. And you may not need a medical massage, but for a good quality sensory experience you do need someone who won't make amateurish mistakes, such as no-pain-no-gain savagery.

Ok. So What Makes a Good Massage?

No matter what name it has, the only obvious and well-known powers of massage are to soothe your nervous system and to reduce muscle aching and stiffness. A fluffy, skin-deep massage isn't relaxing for most people, but neither is agonizing muscle abuse. Your nervous system is neatly divided into halves: you literally have a set of nerves for relaxing (parasympathetic), and a separate set of nerves for action and panic (sympathetic). A good massage will light up your chillaxing nerves like a Christmas tree, and generally avoid setting off the panic nerves. You know you're getting into too much of the latter if you are gritting your teeth and flinching. What makes a massage deep is not sheer force, but reasonable pressures in the right places at the right times. The right places are key locations in muscles where muscle knots form, technically called trigger points. Trigger points are as common as pimples, but more lasting and uncomfortable. They are the primary reason we get stiff and achy, and they can get shockingly unpleasant to live with. Pressing on a trigger point generates a strange mixture of sensitivity and relief, what we call "good pain" in the massage business. To give a good massage, a therapist must zoom in on trigger points, aiming for good pain.
Trigger points are unlikely to respond well to too much or too little pressure. So, medium massage intensity is the usual maximum, and gentler is essential for some people. Whatever the qualifications of your therapist, be assertive: ask for what you want, and do not tolerate too much pain, too fast, or pain with a sharp, nasty quality. And never hesitate to say, "a little to the left, please," or even show them on their own body where you think you need pressure. Help your therapist get to the perfect spots. Good massage always involves a little teamwork!